✍💓 🖥
Hi, my name is Andrea.
I am excited to share my writing portfolio with you.
I have always enjoyed writing but I didn’t realize I had a talent for writing until I started taking a few courses through Udemy online. Through these courses, I have been able to stretch my imagination and become more creative.
In addition to Personal Non-Fiction, and fictional stories, Poetry has always been in interest of mine. I enjoy reading all forms of poetry but writing the various forms can be a challenge at times. After all, quite often you are baring your soul and suddenly remember, “other people are going to read this.” Its not always easy to open up about things in writing but like any other craft, it gets easier with time and practice.
What follows is a series of various poetry forms, vignettes, and personal musings that I wrote.
The Satire poem was the easiest poem for me to write, aside from the haiku and Tanka poems. I love writing comedic poetry and I have a lot of experience trying to write on very little sleep, as a matter of fact, I have a lot of experience doing anything with very little sleep. So a lot of those scenarios in that poem were very familiar to me. The Narrative poem was the most difficult, as there was so much detail and I didn’t want to make it boring.
The Shakesperean Sonnet was the most challenging but I learned a lot about sonnet’s through this lesson. In some ways, it is easier to write with certain restrictions in mind so that one does not go off on a tangent.
Writing about my experiences in this life and hopefully connecting with others who have similar experiences is the goal of my writing. Sometimes all it takes to turn your day around is to read something funny or a moment that we can relate to. Above all, God is in control and all we need to do is go along for the ride.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy my poems as much as I enjoyed writing them!
😏😔😜😞😟😮😳
All About Me
I am from TV dinners, from Dippitydoo and Herbal Essence.
I am from the concrete sidewalks, bullies and cool ocean breezes.
I am from the weeping willows and the dandelions when dead, are blown across the field.
I am from the rosary beads, the laughter, from Irish freckles.
I am from comfort and kindness.
I am from nervousness, and musical talent.
I am from church services, faith and love of God.
I am from the city, but with ocean surrounding me. I am from tea with lots of milk and sugar and candy.
I am from my father, who danced and sang with us, the man who cared for my sister with disabilities, the mother who had ears to listen and eyes for understanding.
I am from an antique world where pictures are stored in the stair, we and in our minds, whose members are slipping away but whose ancestors keep them alive.
💓💓💓💓Love
(Abstract Noun Poem)
Love: A feeling, emotion; they understand you. They touch your heart and accept you
It is deep, wakes up your soul, stirs compassion within you.
It is comforting, like an old shoe, blankets you like a bed of roses. It’s cozy.
Love is overwhelming, like a beautiful sunset or sunrise. You can’t reach out and touch it, but you glory in its splendidness.
Love is God. He is everywhere. He sends his angels to take care of us. He sends people into our lives to give us love.
Love is life. Life is love. Love’s a gift. Let’s cherish it.
Another’s Voice
Yesterday
He looks at me and sees
The youthful one I was
I stare straight ahead
Knowing he watches.
He remembers when we first met,
A long time ago.
Staring, caring, daring him to know me better.
As he stares at my hands, he remembers the ring he placed with a shaky hand.
My heart fluttering like a bird soaring in the air.
He looks at me and he sees my eyes now. He looks through me, like a window into my sound and he can feel the love as if it were the first time we met.
So long ago, but it feels like yesterday.
💒💒Narrative Poem
Wedding Day
Rain, Rain go away.
It wasn’t listening to me.
It poured down on my windshield on my wedding day. The happiest day of my life.
Driving to my sister in law's to change into my wedding dress.
Is this really happening? Am I really marrying the love of my life?
Entering Pam’s house, there was a bustle of activity, lifting my sleepiness and my dull spirits.
Make up lady, my sister, Sheila, her children.
Sheila helping me into my dress, flashing cameras, air of excitement!
All that we needed was the sun.
Another bustle of activity as I left the bedroom, encased in my wedding dress. Cameras flashing, Pam dressed in a slim fitting sleeveless dress with long gloves and high heels, blond hair up in a bun. Sheila in the floral, a-shaped dress that she sewed from the pattern I chose. Brown, curly hair down, looking youthful with Sean and Annie, adorable in their wedding attire.
Scurrying to the Church, those few blocks, holding up my large, sequined white dress, people honking, whistling, congratulating. Suddenly a burst of sunshine came through the clouds. God’s answer to my prayers on this most blessed day.
As we entered the Church, a flurry of activity ensued.
My father, looking handsome in his tux, red hair now white, ruddy Irish complexion. Smiled his approval. My mother, hair while as snow, dressed in a blue two-piece ensemble smiled and nodded in her quiet way.
Anita, my friend, scurried about putting flowers in our hair.
The music started; my father took my arm. We walked slowly down the aisle. I am beaming from ear to ear, nodding at those familiar faces smiling at me.
And there was my beloved, standing next to his brother, looking young and handsome as ever. Blue eyes staring straight at me.
Afterwards, more cameras snapping, we fly down the aisle together. Our lives begin.
Satire Poem
No Sleep
Walking by the stream, I see a blue heron. It floats up in the air like a um, what is that word? Ughh. So tired, no sleep.
Ok, let me start over. I’m walking down the street and I see a oh damm! What is that word! Chipmunk? No, cat, no, grrrr.
One more time. I'm walking in the woods, no by the stream, no down the street. Augh! Where am I?
Yum. That hot chocolate tastes so good. I think I’ll have a cookie.
Oh no, look at all of these dishes.
What was I doing? Oh yeah. Writing my poem.
I was walking by the stream and saw a ...what was it I saw?
My hand hurts, my eyes hurt. I’m so tired. Did I doze off?
I’m walking down the street. No! I’m walking in the woods, I mean in the stream, no, by the stream. Oh God, where am I? What was that noise? Sounds like a bird. Is there a bird in my house?
Wasn’t I writing about a bird?
What is happening to me?
Focus, Focus.
I’m walking by a stream, and I see a blue heron floating up in the air like a
Airplane? No. Feather? No.
What was it like?
I’m hungry. Maybe if I eat. When was the last time I ate?
How long have I been writing?
I think it’s time to take a nap.
One more attempt.
I was walking by a stream, and I saw a blue heron floating up…
Zzzzz.
🏡
Ode to A Home
What is a home?
Is it just French doors open while the wind blows through the living room, and we sit gazing out at the garden?
Is it a place for prayer as we contemplate the statues in our prayer corner as we thank God for our precious life?
Or our kitchen where we create works of art and visit with our friends and neighbors as they drop by to say hello?
Or our dining room, where we entertain and keep mementos of our loved ones never to be forgotten?
The bedroom, where we slept, cuddled and comforted each other? Where we feel the toasty-ness of the woodstove in the winter and smelled the fresh air and felt the breeze from the fan in summer?
Or our back porch where we held parties that lasted well into the night. Our backyard where we viewed fireworks on the 4th of July?
The tenant's upstairs that came and went, some good, some bad. The creaking of the floorboards, the footfalls, and the occasional mumbles that can be heard.
Our front porch, where we proudly display our flag every year and where we sit to escape the world but watch the world go by.
Although it breaks my heart, the thought of leaving this little corner of the world, and all the memories 16 years can bring; can a house really wrap itself around you when you cry, comfort you when you are lonely and calm you when you are stressed?
Maybe not. But we get attached to things that hold memories and memories never fade.
Season Change
The leaves have fallen
There’s a chill in the air.
Ready for winter.
A flock of geese fly.
Floating near the clouds up high
Heading to their home.
The sun is setting.
Shadows fall across the Road
Time to go inside.
I drink my coffee.
I feel the buzz waking me.
The caffeine hits my bloodstream.
Tanka
The mouse scampers fast.
He scampers across the floor.
The cat follows him.
The mouse outsmarts the cat when
The mouse runs into a hole.
🐕
Shadow
My dog runs at me
Like a wave chasing me down
Legs scrambling
Hits the ground like a racehorse
Bounding towards the goal line.
Shakespearean Sonnet
🌳🎕❆🌞Seasons
Snow swirls around the trees
And creates a most chilly breeze.
As dark clouds move in around us
The people move about without a fuss.
It's as if we are used to the change
And yet winter we never miss.
When warmth returns and summer is near,
We barely remember the cold’s frozen kiss.
When tulips pop and grass does appear
Visions of summer show up in our dreams.
A few more frozen nights to go,
The days get longer and wide it seems.
As each season passes, we look for the best
In what God has given until we rest.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my poetry.
These were all written by hand with different colored pens. One of the instructors on Udemy suggested using various colors to write stories and poems to make it fun and interesting and new.
I hope I was able to present something new and fresh. I enjoy writing about nature and as I indicated in the introduction, I love writing satire. I would have to say that is my favorite form aside from writing about nature.
Haiku and Tanka were fun. I love the simple-ness of this form of poetry and of course, I am able to intertwine nature in this form of poetry.
When I first started writing poetry, and short stories, I struggled with keeping it succinct. Writing an outline helps. Thinking about a theme is the most important. I try to pick a theme that I feel passionate about or that I think will make for an interesting or humorous subject such as feeling sleepy or my “Raining Cheese” poem.
Although writing an outline is very helpful for the longer, narrative poetry, Sometimes I just write and see where it leads me. I find that type of writing to be the most enjoyable and productive. When I write without stopping to check on what I write, my creativity flows more easily.
Thank you for allowing me to share my poetry with you. This has been an enjoyable and educational experience and I hope to continue sharing my poetry with you in the future.
What follows is a few Vignettes and some blog entries which range from articles I have submitted to magazines and thoughts for the day or Journal Entries from my UDEMY class. Happy Reading and please feel free to leave comments at the end.
💌Painful Encounter
It was one of those days. Dreary, cold. Typical Vermont day. I needed to get out of the house anyway so I may as well go grocery shopping. I decided to go late in the day so that I could take our dog for a walk first, rather than dragging myself home from shopping and then trudging through the snow, shivering and wishing it would be over.
I hopped into the car, turned on my favorite talk radio program and headed to Jericho. “Oh darn! I needed gas. Well, I could get it after I shop? Nah. Nothing worse than shopping and then schlepping over to the gas station afterwards. May as well get it done now.”
I pulled into the gas station, feeling impatient even before I put my card in. “Stupid thing!” The gas pump was beeping at me. I needed to leave my card in. Sometimes you need to leave your card in, other times you have to take it out right away, depending on the gas station. I never knew and ultimately, I ended up doing the wrong thing.” I tried a few more times to put the card in but it was rejected. “Oh, forget that.” I exclaimed as “see cashier” flashed on the screen. I jumped back in my car, feeling even more annoyed now, and proceeded to the pump on the other side. The woman in front of me was pumping gas and stared at me as I pulled in behind her. “Did she hear the frustration in my voice?” I hopped out and started the process over. Bundling up against the cold, I started the pump. Success! It worked. Gas was pumping. I refused my receipt and hopped in the car again. Luckily there wasn’t too much traffic at 3 in the afternoon.
As I pulled into the compact parking lot of the Village Market, I realized that this was probably where all of the cars were. Many of the slots for parking were on the left, the right was taken up by handicapped signs or “stop and pick up” signs.
“Ah Ha!” I found a spot on the left.
“Drat!” There was a shopping cart, right where I wanted to park.
“Maybe if I pulled more to the right there!” I was in. Plenty of room.
I whispered to myself, “Why would someone leave a shopping cart in the middle of a parking space? Well,” I thought to myself, “At least I can use it.”
I grabbed my mask, cloth bag and purse and keys and jumped out of the car, closing the door as I reached for the cart.
“OWWW!!” Suddenly, I felt the most atrocious pain sear through my finger, which I quickly yanked from the car door. I grabbed my hand, cradled my finger and keeled over. “Ow, Ow, Ow” I didn’t think the pain would ever go away. I needed to get back in the car. I couldn’t tell if anyone was watching but clearly no one saw as no one came to my aide. I carefully moved my bag and my purse, trying desperately not to touch my finger or nail to the objects. However, that was impossible and every time I touched anything, the pain would shoot up through my finger. I looked at the finger, the one next to the index finger on my right hand. It was bleeding a little but even reaching for the tissues was risky and painful. I had a hard time getting the tissue out but managed to do just that and wrap it around my finger. “Is it broken? “I wondered? I should go home and put some ice on it. I don’t think the clerks in the grocery store would be to happy if I started bleeding all over everything. I
I carefully backed out of the tightly packed parking lot and pulled out into the street. My finger still hurt like hell but at least I was headed home. About 2 miles down the road, my hand started to feel warm. The blood must be rushing to the finger, and I could at least move it a little without severe pain.
“You know what?” I thought to myself. I really need some chocolate. I’m going back. What the heck. I’m not bleeding, my finger is at least moving. I can do this. I headed back to the grocery store to pick up desert and a few things for dinner. The store was even more crowded than when I left but I treated myself to a York peppermint patty on the way home. Man was that good.
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Friday the 13th
The oncologist didn’t even knock before she burst into the room. The quiet, still, sterile room, that provided a haven for me and Michael after the surgeon left.
“You are healing nicely. The next round of chemo should be more tolerable for you.” The surgeon’s soft, slow voice eased my tension that built up before the appointment. Mike and I let out a breath and giggled after the pent-up nervous energy we had.
Mike and I stared, transfixed at the Doctor. I could not bring myself to look at Michael. I was frozen. Numb. “This can’t be happening, it’s surreal,” I thought. Both of us realized we were thinking the same thing when we finally spoke later.
The oncologist continued to rattle on about treatment and offered a hug (which I refused). I actually recoiled at the thought. I wanted to stand up, push this cold, unfazed person across the room and run out of the room. “There must be some mistake,” I thought. “I can’t have metastatic breast cancer. “Liar!” I wanted to yell.
“I’ll
leave you two to chat if you need more time.”
After a few minutes, we left
the room. I don’t even remember going to the car. We drove off into the early evening to face
our new lives, which changed in an instant.
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4/8/21
The Calm Before the Storm
There is a calm before every storm. A silence that precludes the noise, the business of each day. I know the storm is coming but I relish the quiet. I try not to focus on the battle ahead. The days that are coming will not be easy. But God has my back.
What do I do to prepare for the inevitable stress; The demands of the days ahead? A small voice in my mind says pray. “Pray without ceasing” (Thessalonians 5:16-18, ESV). Don’t let up, even when the storm has passed. He will hold our hands, even when we face the giants. “Don’t be afraid of anything” (Genesis 21:17, NRSV) and he will direct our path.
February 25, 2021
Sally: The Light of our Life
There she was. Bright, beautiful green eyes. Friendly, sweet disposition. Black body and black and white face. She loves cats. That was the only thing we knew about her. We fell in love right away.
It was the Fall of 2009. A few months before I took over the care of my mother and my sister who lived upstairs in the apartment we were renting out.
She fit right in and literally became the sunshine of our lives. (The song that was playing when we picked her up at PetSmart was “Walking on Sunshine.”) She was by my side on days when I took care of my mother and sister. When my mother’s dementia became worse and my moods would match her moods, Sally was there to cheer me up. My mother’s cat, Rocky, and Sally played like old friends. Sally was a little older than Rocky. (Sally was three and Rocky was two) but she still allowed Rocky to pin her to the floor without putting up a fuss.
We also learned that she loved to go out at night and stay out all night. At first we were worried as we never let our cats out at night, but Sally always returned and never seemed to be any worse for the wear.
Sally was there when I received the devastating diagnosis of stage four metastatic breast cancer. She was there when I took my pills, always maintaining a cheerful presence in the kitchen. Yes, she loved to eat. When her health fluctuated and she needed pills or needed us to take her temperature, she tolerated it with dignity and understanding. When fever hit her and she needed cold clothes to make her feel cooler, she seemed to understand that we were there to help.
She would occasionally pee outside of the box and in the strangest places. Our Vet diagnosed this as a behavioral trait rather than a medical issue. She may have been stressed, anxious or nervous. He prescribed a calming pill. Sally and I would dutifully take our pills together in the kitchen. Again, she understood that this was for the best. The peeing stopped for a while, usually a year, then rear it’s smelly head again a few years later, after we brought her home from two months of being lost. More comfort pills. Second litter box upstairs. Problem solved.
During Sally’s absence, one of our cats, Peaches, died of kidney failure. She slipped quietly away one morning before we left for work. She left a big void in our lives and in Frisky (our other cat’s) life. When we finally found Sally, one month later, skinny and scared, under a porch right across the parking lot from our veterinarian's office (where she escaped from), she ran around the house looking for her pals. Frisky was still with us but Peaches was gone. We tried to explain this to her (she was also very smart), I hoped she understood.
Six and a half years and two more cats and a Dog added to our household, Sally had weathered the storm of grief, fear, and medical issues. A week before she died, I brought her in to our veterinarians office. She had been suffering from diarrhea, which was also an on and off episode. The Vet gave her a shot of (Cortisone ) to ease the possible inflammation. Sally took it well. The Vet called her a medical anomaly because of her ability to bounce back after treatment. He felt her kidneys and noted that they were the size of lima beans. Right away my radar went up. I knew she had slowed down considerably in the last month. She no longer wanted to go out, peed a lot outside the litter box but would bravely try to make the trip downstairs. She was also drinking a lot and occasionally would hide in the closet or in a box I had made for her with a blanket inside. I was familiar with these signs as I I had experienced them before with our other cats who were sick. I knew it was just a matter of time.
One week later, it was clear that Sally was leaving us. The Light of our Life was fading. She no longer wanted to go outside, where she spent the happiest times of her life. I spent the last evening with her on my lap. The next morning, she left this world like she lived her life; stubborn, strong, and loved; with Mike, me, and Rory by her side. When she passed away, Rory jumped off the couch. He understood what had happened.
The next day, Rory was itching to go outside. Unusual as he stopped going out in the winter. It was slightly warmer so maybe that was the reason. A little while later, I was looking out the back window as I was getting the coffee ready. Rory was sitting over near the spot where Mike buried Sally. The area was over the bank from the yard, where our barn used to be. He was sitting at the edge of the bank gazing out at the spot where Sally lay. Yeah. I knew why he changed his mind about going out that day. He missed her as much as we did.
Mike and I thought about Sally a lot in the coming days and weeks. I would spot her favorite toy, her bed, a place on the floor where she liked to lay and I would tear up. I remembered her as I entered the kitchen to get a snack or make dinner. She was always present and cheerful, meowing for food when myself or Mike were near that room. I looked over the mound in the yard where she was buried and I would think of her now, up in heaven. She is probably running around in the sumptuous green grass, playing with other cats, eating elaborate meals and finally feeling at peace. She is probably looking down at us now, saying, “Don’t be sad. Be happy for me. I am where I am supposed to be. Keep your memories of the good times we had. Remember me as I was; happy, strong, and loved.”
“I’m walking on Sunshine….”
The quiet stillness refreshes my soul. No people, no work, no chores. God gives me these days to regroup and to rest. Without these quiet days, I would melt like a big glob of plastic in the hot sun. Stretching out on the couch, I’m feeling lazy but not bored as I can write about these days so as to remember what it was like when I get busy again.
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4/20/21
Spring is Here!
Well Spring is crawling in, slowly but surely. God's beauty is starting to pop out all over with the grass turning green, the buds bursting out of the branches, and the white puffy clouds in the sky. Oh, and let's not forget the weather, which is getting warmer. No need for boots, heavy coats and hats (except for yesterday and probably the next two days. We are in Vermont after all).
The Notch opened last week, then closed as the weather turned snowy again. Maybe by next week it will open permanently. We can only hope...and pray. As I watch the traffic wiz by out on our street, once again I see trucks pulling campers, motorcycles and tour busses. Yes, Summer is just around the corner.
I have come out of my winter shell and started writing again, after a short hiatus due to a death in our family (my cat), a medical procedure (nothing serious but nerve-wracking non the less) and placing our house on the market (I'll explain later). I am working on a short story that I will probably submit to one of the Christian Magazines or Publishers. I won't go into too much detail except to say that the name of the piece (so far) is "The Encounter" and has to do with a woman who thinks she knows what she wants out of life but "encounters" someone who may turn that around. I am also working on a story about an interesting train ride and another type of encounter. Do you see a pattern here? Stay tuned. Hopefully one or both of these stories will appear in a magazine near you.
Anyway, back to the sale of our house. Yes, Michael and I took the plunge. We decided that it was time to finally get serious and also take advantage of the great housing market. We hope that we will get an offer soon, after many showings and endless cleaning, moving of furniture and dog walks during the showings. I could really use your prayers as well.
During these times of uncertainty, I realize how important it is to pray without ceasing. Even when I am discouraged and secretly don't want to get my hopes us, I need to pray, to ask others to pray, and most of all....to trust. God is with us always. He hears our prayers. We just need to be patient. Above all, I think I could use the most help with that God.
You’ve Got This
(Submitted to "Chicken Soup for the Soul" January of 2022).
“Can I talk to you for a minute? ” In my dream, I was in an old house, probably dating
back to 1920. The room was very large, with a slanted ceiling. Against the
wall, facing me there was a queen-sized bed with a floral laced comforter. I remember there was a long French window beside the desk in the corner. I was packing up my possessions such as boxes, pictures, clothes, along with the other employees in my workplace. The massive house had lots of rooms. I must have been on the second or third floor. Obviously, it was the end of something because all the employees were packing up and getting ready to leave.
“Sure.” I answered quickly as I closed the last box.
I wondered why Linda wanted to talk to me when she just said she was going to meet us downstairs?
rehearsals during the summer musicals at our local theater. We also keep in touch on
Facebook. Linda is a social media guru. She isn’t much for conversation as she is
hard of hearing. She is very intelligent, particularly when it comes to computers. She always keeps an eye on the beat of all things entertainment. She also never missed a post by any of her friends. She is empathetic when we are grieving. She laughs with us when something strikes her as funny. She sometimes throws snarky remarks when she notices any slight misstep or mistype in our words. We have all grown to love Linda.
When I finally made my way down the narrow, tight staircase to the kitchen, Linda came over
to me and embraced me. At the same time, she pressed something into
my hand. It felt very warm and comforting. Simultaneously, she whispered in my ear, “you’ve got this girl.”
haired doll with a yellow, floral, frilly dress. The doll reminded me of a princess with her blond,
curly hair and deep blue eyes. In her hand was a football. The doll held the football in her
arm like she was running.
When I woke up, I thought about the dream. First of all, this was so Linda. She loved to hug
people (pre-covid). She was empathetic and loved superheroes. I do remember that this
princess doll was the type that Linda would post on her Facebook page as
a meme.
was supposed to submit the rest of my hours for licensure as a Mental Health Clinician. I had
exactly two years from the time I started working for the Mental Health Agency, to submit the
rest of my 1500 hours. I let it slide because of my metastatic breast cancer. I had been
battling breast cancer for years and it was catching up to me. Tumors in my
liver had metastasized and were growing. I needed to take a break from work and breathe so that I could decide my next course of action. My work hours that would go towards licensure would have to wait.
But I know I made the right decision by walking away from my career four years ago. At the
time I went out on disability, I didn’t realize I was actually walking away. I always figured I would return to work as a non-licensed therapist until I could get licensed. I imagined that my cancer would go into remission, and I would have the energy to return to work. Unfortunately, things did not happen that way.
fulfilling, endearing, and enticing. And yes, my cancer has gone into a type of remission. But it
wasn’t the metastatic breast cancer that told me to step aside from my dream job. It was
God. In the midst of my cloudy days, I let God guide me through the storm.
unless they were very important. Linda suffered from health issues as
well. Maybe God used her as the tool to communicate to me that life isn’t over yet.
Just like my battle with cancer, there is always hope and there is always a new treatment or procedure. I just needed to trust in God and listen to his angels.
Yes, Linda.
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4/22/21
Thoughts on this Snow-Filled Day
Ah, another snowy day. Yesterday it snowed all day, and the winds were brutal. Today there is a fresh layer of snow (much more than the weatherman predicted), and everything looks fresh and new again. God has given us a new day full of new possibilities. We need to take advantage of those possibilities by embracing the changes.
We have another house showing today. The housing market is so hot right now, we assumed that if we just cleaned up our house, packed up some things and staged it a little, people would be beating a path to our door and competing with each other. Who knows? Potential buyers may even give us more than what we are asking!
Well, the reality is, we really need to work harder to sell this house. After glancing through a book my sister sent us, "Dress Your House for Success" (Webb, 1997), I decided to take some of their advise and make a few changes. The book is dated, I know but what harm could it do to change up some things. Obviously, what we had been doing was not selling the house. We shall see.
Anyway, I guess my point in all of this is that we can pray and wait for God's answer. We can sit back and say, "alright God, you have the driver's seat. I'm just going to sit back and let you drive." Yeah, that could work. But maybe sometimes God wants us to do SOMETHING to help the situation. Or perhaps he put this book in my sister's thoughts and my sister, in turn was moved to send it to us.
All we can do is trust and take life one step at a time. There will be disappointments, no doubt but we can't give up. I know we will sell the house...someday. We may not sell it in my time frame, or our time frame but God has a plan. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (ESV 29:11).
Isn't having Hope what it is all about?
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👼
April 24, 2021
Do you Believe in Angels?
Hi there. I took the day off from my Blog yesterday because I had a terrible headache. A migraine to be exact. I've suffered from migraines all my life, so I always know the difference between that type of headache and a regular tension headache. Anyway. I'm back and I feel much better. The grass is green, the snow has disappeared, and it's supposed to be in the 50's today. Yay God!
My topic for today is Angels. Do you believe in Angels? I think I do. I've never encountered an actual angel dressed in white with a halo, but I think I've met people who lead me to the right path. I consider these people angels or at least angels in disguise. You know the type. People who rescue you when you need to be rescued. People who call you at just the right time. I consider these people angels. Angels are sent by God. So even if you do not have an obvious supernatural experience via an angel, you may be the recipient of a human being who was moved by God to tell you something profound or to give you advise you really needed.
Do any of you have stories of angels, either through dreams, real life or supernatural? Leave these experiences in the comment section. I would love to hear about them.
Have a blessed "angelic" day.
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April 25, 2021
Good morning! Sunday morning and it actually isn't raining. What a gift. Thank you, God!
For the next couple of days, I am going to type some pieces from my Writer's Journal. These are a couple of pieces I wrote last year while I was taking my writing class. I hope you enjoy them.
💖😀
Grateful
I am grateful for hope.
Hope is what gets us through when we feel there is nothing left.
If we don't have hope, we have nothing.
I am grateful for the new snow in the days before winter.
The first rose in Spring. The dandelions in Summer.
The beautiful colors of the leaves in the Fall.
It's as if God were painting all of the pictures for us.
I am grateful for my husband who stands by me no matter what.
Who understands my ups and downs and who comforts me when I need comforting?
What are you grateful for this Sunday?
********************************************************************************
4/26/21
🏃⚘
Why is Life so Hard?
"Indeed, I consider everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ." (Philippians 3:8, ESV).
Why is life so hard? Why do I have to fight for everything?
These are a few of the questions I've heard people ask and questions I have also pondered. Doesn't it seem sometimes that life is just one hurdle after another? Why can't life just be easier?
Did anyone say that life is easy?
Well, easy is a relative response. What some people consider easy may be difficult for other people. For example, getting up early, going to work, going shopping. This could be hard or easy, depending on your condition or financial well-being. For someone with physical difficulties, getting up in the morning, getting dressed, going to work, may be very difficult but they do these things because they need to support themselves or their family. Depending on the circumstance, just being able to get up is a gift. But maybe they do wish that it was a little easier.
Personally, for me, getting up early is very difficult. I am just not a morning person. When I was working full time, I didn't have a choice. I drove long distances, through the snow and ice just to get to work. There were many times I felt like giving up. Life to me was hard and demanding. Stressful. But I continued working because I had to. Even after I received my cancer diagnosis.
But putting jobs aside, what about the other stuff that goes on. The bills, the creditors, the people in your life that give you a difficult time. Aren't we taught in Kindergarten how to deal with people? How to share, be kind? What happens when we grow up that makes this so difficult? People disappoint us. People judge us. Basically, people don't live up to our expectations. Yes. Life is just not easy sometimes.
Now to get back to the bible verse at the beginning of this piece. The word "suffer" takes on a whole new meaning when we suffer for Christ. Is all our suffering for nothing. Certainly not. L.B. Cowen (Cowen, 1997) tells us that, "The Glory of tomorrow is rooted in the drudgery of today." In other words, our suffering not only makes us stronger but brings us closer to Christ. We can't become holy if we don't ever change. Suffering brings about change. Cowen uses the example of a flower. First there are buds and buds need water and sun to grow. A flower can't go from a seed to a blooming, colorful rose overnight. You can't become a marathon runner without some practice and pain at times. There needs to be some work involved.
So yes, life is hard but our suffering an bring us to a better place if we continue to pray through the suffering and keep our eyes on Christ. We will come out better on the other end.
*******************************************************************************
4/27/21
⛅🌧🌨🌥
Imagination
I watched the dark clouds move swiftly across the sky. Patches of blue behind them.
So much goes on up there while we are busy with our lives. We don't take the time to look up at the sky.
There is a whole other world up there, free from the business of life.
Have you ever looked at the shape of the clouds while you were sitting on your porch, gazing upwards? Have you noticed the shapes that look like animals, babies, old men? I could swear I've seen bunny rabbits, dogs, newborns floating past as I concentrate on the white patches.
Could this be part of heaven? Or are these creatures' angels that are visiting from heaven to watch over us?
And it changes according to the season. Light, fluffy clouds against a blue sky in the summer and dark, grey clouds moving swiftly in cold weather. As if the clouds are in a hurry to get somewhere warm.
What if, just what if, one day when you least expect it, a cloud reached down and swept us up in the air. We could ride along the clouds, slapping high fives at the shapes.
Clouds shaped like dogs, cats, clowns, magicians...anything our imaginations can conjure up.
We could fly through cold winds, rain and snow.
Looking down at the land below, people would look like ants, scurrying here and there. Cars would look like toys, buildings like dollhouses.
Finally, when he had our fill of adventures for the day, we would slow down and just sit on the cloud, basking in the glorious sunshine.
Curiously, as quickly as we were swept up into the cloud, we would be gently carried down to the grass again.
And we would be happy to be given that time and that experience to imagine.
Today I decided to write about Kindness. This is a word that is used a lot but do people understand what it really means? Usually, we think about kindness in terms of grand gestures that people make. For example, a child creating gifts or cards for Veterans or a person in your community raising money for a poor or disabled person. All wonderful acts of kindness. I love reading heart-warming stories of one neighbor helping another neighbor in need. These types of stories restore faith in our otherwise troubled world. We can acknowledge that despite what we see on the news, the looting, the violence and the disappointment we see in our fellow mankind, there is hope out there. There are kind people who would come to our need in a nanosecond.
However, kind acts do not need to be large gestures, big projects and group activities that are advertised in the paper, on Facebook or on the news. Kindness can be so small that only you and the person you touched with that act of kindness know about it. Acts as simple as a gentle touch when someone is feeling upset. The kind touch of another human being will help that person to feel a connection.
Another kind gestures may be a friendly voice on the phone. How often do we call a customer service number, only to be greeted by a curt, angry, impatient voice on the other end? I know I feel much better when that person on the other end of the phone takes the time to listen to what I am saying and greets me with a calm, friendly voice. My experience with that company ends up being much more positive.
How about holding the door for someone who may be struggling with groceries? Or someone in a wheelchair, a mom with her children. Sometimes I hold the door for a while, even if the person is going slowly, because, after all, what is a few minutes in life if it can change how that person views his or her day? Perhaps someone cut them off in traffic right before they entered the building where you took the extra minute to hold the door. If that gesture was the last thing you did for them, that is what they will remember, most likely.
God expresses Kindness simply: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32).
Let's try to show some kindness today.
*******************************************************************************
5/11/21
Sometimes God...
Sometimes God surprises us.
Sometimes God delights us.
Sometimes God makes us think.
Sometimes God comforts us.
Sometimes God sends us angels.
Sometimes God gives us words to say.
And Sometimes God just listens.
*******************************************************************************
May 13, 2021
Daily Thoughts
Well, the week is flying by. Pretty soon, Sunday, my first "Annie" rehearsal will be here. Yes, I landed a part in the Musical. I will be playing the part of the "Upstairs Maid." Apparently, there is also a Downstairs Maid as well. I don't have a name. I am just part of the Staff of the "Mansion." The schedule is light, which suits me fine this Summer as we are STILL trying to sell our house. More prayers please!
I am enjoying the freedom of these Spring days before Summer arrives and the Musical gets into full swing. The peacefulness of sitting on the front porch without being exhausted from rehearsal the night before. Enjoying my view of the buds popping out on the trees, our flowers and the dandelions that keep popping up, even after they are mowed.
Today I visited the Fairfax Bike/walking path with Shadow, our dog. I hadn't been there in a while for one reason or the other. The last time I was there with Michael and Shadow, it was still chilly and brown looking. The grass still looked tired and old and there wasn't anything pretty about it. Today it was bursting with color. The smell of spring was in the air. The beautiful, rich looking green grass was freshly mowed. The water was sparkling, and the birds were all singing like they were in Church and praising the Lord.
As we entered the path, we could hear a class singing a folk song I remembered from camp years ago. It just seemed like everyone was happy that Spring has finally arrived.
******************************************************************************
May 18, 2021
Nothing Lasts Forever
Nothing lasts forever, new Springs do come.
Like the dew on the grass each morning, it always gives way to the sun.
Nothing lasts forever, children grow older and leave.
Parents go gray and bodies ache, minds go blank, as we start to grieve,
the passing of yesterday, which seems alive
to what we remember as those days when we thrived.
Nothing lasts forever but God's love for us.
Forever and always, we trust.
*****************************************************************************
June 4, 2021
Wow! I just noticed that I haven't done a blog entry since May 18th!
Life has been busy. We sold the house! Well, we got an offer and we have signed the contracts. Now the other half of the work begins. Finding a house, packing up, tying up loose ends like address changes, shutting off electricity, etc. All while rehearsing for the Musical. Somehow, we will get through this but only through the grace of God.
I took a break today and walked with my neighbor, Deb and Shadow. We took a stroll through the Fairfax Bike Path. I was bragging to Deb that it is such a quiet, peaceful place and as usual, when I brag about things being a certain way (like when I say Shadow is so good on a walk and then suddenly becomes a circus clown), the situation is totally different.
The Park was packed! As we entered the bike path, we noticed a sign that said, "Ninja Warriors." There were streamers and hoops and paraphernalia set up for, what I could only imagine was a child's fair. To young men were setting these up and putting the finishing touches on the games.
As we continued down the path (with Shadow on the leash due to an unfortunate encounter with a woman who yelled at us for having him off the leash), we marveled at the green, lushness of the fields and the beautiful, purple flowers that popped up along the way. Around the corner came about 24 children, led by young teachers, presumably on their way to the fair. I knew Shadow would be find but I held him a little tighter. Behind the group was an older man with two medium sized black dogs. One dog was on a leash and one dog was off the leash. I tried to distract Shadow as he becomes like Cujo when he is on a leash and other dogs are around. But unfortunately, he spotted the dogs and went nuts. After trying to calm him down by making him sit and cajoling him to look at me while I petted him, the dogs passed by without incident and we walked on.
Spotting another dog, Shadow ran away from us and sniffed noses with the older yellow lab. This bike path was starting to grow crowded! I put him on the leash, then let him off when I determined that we were safely away from the dog.
All of a sudden, I spotted a deer in the bushes by the river! In the middle of the day? I thought they only appeared at dusk and jump out at us as we try to avoid them with our car. I rarely saw a deer in the middle of the afternoon. He stared at us, just as surprised. I turned to tell Deb what I was seeing and when I turned around again, he was gone.
We ventured on. As we walked beside the river, we noticed the beautiful flowers that had sprung up along the edge of the bank. Gorgeous purple and white. To me, it seems like every season brings a new type of flower (except for winter) in which to marvel.
Finally, as we rounded the hill toward the parking lot, we discovered who the young men (who we saw at the beginning of our walk) were preparing for. 60 first? second graders? were just finishing the games that the young men had walked them through. The Teachers were lining them up in very straight rows and directing them to walk back to the school across the street. We waited patiently (even Shadow, wish his tongue hanging out because of the heat) while row by row, they filed into the parking lot.
What an interesting walk! I don't think I had ever seen the Path so crowded. I mentioned this to Deb but added how nice it was that the Path was being used for such positive events.
So that was our day. A lovely walk for on a Friday morning.
******************************************************************************
6/5/21
Endings and Beginnings
Funny how June is the same every year. It's not just the beautiful weather, the lush green fields and the lilacs that appear, brightening the bushes and letting off a perfumed sent to the air. It is what happens to us and our families in June.
June represents the end. The end of the Elementary, Middle and High School year. Graduations occur, friends say goodbye to Teachers and other friends. And suddenly the world grows quiet. There is a hush that fills the land. We are able to, for the first time in the middle of our busy lives, to relish the sounds, sights and smells of summer and all of God's creation.
No more homework, no more Teaching, no more setting alarms and making breakfasts. No more rushing to events after School or work. No more stressing about projects, deadlines, or checking our watches and clocks.
This is the time to sleep in with our windows open, letting the light, summer breeze fly through the window and think about how little we have to do. June represents the end of the school year for students and Teachers but the beginning of Summer.
Summer trips to the beach, long, leisurely walks, family time, shorts, summer dresses, sandles; even bare feet. Summer camp for some, reading, potlucks, weddings, baby showers, outdoor events and concerts.
Yes, we have to say goodbye for a while, but most will return in the Fall. Those who don't will head off to college for another new adventure and a new beginning.
***********************************************************************************
6/7/21
Hold on
Hold on, says the sparrow to her newly hatched chicks.
Mommy will be back soon to feed you.
Hold on says the hero while saving the victim.
Take my hand and don’t give up
please, hold on.
Hold on says the man running after the bus
Wait for me, don’t leave me here alone.
Hold on for tomorrow God says to us always.
Don’t doubt, things will turn out ok.
Be patient and wait.
Your prayers will be answered if you wait another day and hold on.
**********************************************************************************
7/22/21
SHADOWS
Shadows near me as I drive home through the dark night
Lit only by rays from the moon.
Shadows reach out to me, masquerading as a bear? monster? mailbox?
Shadows surround me, dancing in the air.
Keeping me company on my long ride.
Shadows in back of me as I come into the light
of streetlamps, headlights, and stores.
Memories of shadows as I drive away, bidding farewell.
knowing that
I will see Shadows again.
**************************************************************************
8/3/21
Well, I'm back. We sold our house and moved into my mothers-in-law temporarily. We also bought a house in Derby Line, Vermont (no, not New Hampshire as we had hoped but maybe someday). In just under two weeks, we will move into our new home. It will be all ours. No tenants, no borders, all ours. I am delighted that there are not only 3 bedrooms but 2 baths! I have wanted two bathrooms for so long. We can't wait to move in.
Meanwhile, the Musical is over. Annie was a hit with the small audience that attended. We could only have 50 people in the Opera House at one time because of initial fears of Covid (which seem to be ongoing, even after most people in Vermont were vaccinated. But I digress). The experience was exhausting, particularly because it was happening simultaneously with the move and the house search, but it was totally worth it. The songs are still running through my head. The show was taped and will be live streamed August 25-29th. Tickets can be purchased through LCPlayers.com.
So today I took a day off and drove to the Waterbury Reservoir. What a great feeling to have no place to go and to just lay back and enjoy the sunshine. I need to do that more often as does Michael.
I have more positive news about a procedure I will be undergoing and will share that later.
For now, I am just happy to be living in the moment and loving life, my husband, and my pets. God is so good. Amen.
***********************************************************************
11/5/21
Well! Believe it or not, this is the first time I've felt like writing in months. Don't get me wrong, it is not because I don't want to write, I have had a series of medical issues which prevented me from getting back to the thing I love to do the most.
First of all, we finally moved into our new home on August 16th. What a day! I will tell the wild story of transporting our car-traumatized cat, Rory to Derby Line from Burlington later. But let me just say I am glad I had a change of clothes when I arrived at the house.
Michael has been working tirelessly to fix little issues that could become big issues if let go. In the last few months, we have been busy unpacking and shopping for things for the house, traveling to the storage unit to unload the rest of the boxes (which the movers would not take...another story) and looking for places to walk (and run) Shadow.
In the meantime, staring around August 28, I had my pre op for the main procedure (which I mentioned in the previous blog). The procedure, which is called an embolism or a Y90, involves inserting a needle into the groin which is attached to a catheter. Little beads of radiation are injected through the catheter into the liver to destroy the tumors. My Radiology Dr. said he was hoping for a cure. I have been so excited about doing this procedure because I hope it will mean I won't have to go back on meds for a while at least.
Well, the August 28 procedure was a pre-op. The surgeon wanted to make sure sure that the pathways to the tumor did not interfere with the lungs or heart. After the pre-op, I was cleared for the two-part procedure, which would take place in 6-8 weeks. My first half was done on September 23rd. Mike and I stayed at a Campground in Queeche. Shadow was with us of course.
After my procedure was over, Mike drove me back to the Campground and went to pick up Shadow, who we had left at a doggie daycare in Thetford. He was overjoyed to be back with us. I was really tired that night and and had no clue that things would get worse.
Oh the procedure went very well, I had not pain and was just asked to keep the bandage on for 24 hours. In the days to come, after we arrived home, I realized that there was more to this recover than just being tired and changing a bandage.
After many calls to radiology at Dartmouth, I discovered that I had acquired Acid Reflux. I was given Prilosec and told to take it until the end of October. By that time, my second procedure would be completed.
However, Prilosec has a rebound effect. I continued to feel ill after I went off of the medication. After many talks with my primary care, a loss of 17 pounds and many days of laying on the couch and missing get togethers, I finally have the acid reflux under control.
My procedures went very smoothly, and scans are showing that the tumors in the liver are dying off. So Halleluiah for that and Happy New Year!
***********************************************************************
December 6, 2021
I turn 60 years old tomorrow. Hard to believe. 60 years on this earth. 60 years ago, today I was born in Brighton, Massachusetts, a suburb outside of Boston. I don't even remember Brighton at all. I was two years old when we moved out to Scituate, Massachusetts. It was in Scituate that all my childhood memories took place.
It's difficult to imagine life at 60. When I was in my 50's, aging didn't seem to bother me. But 60? That sounds old. Although with all of the anti-aging creams, Botox and nutrition that we are all exposed to, aging seems to be just a state of mind.
When I was young, a lot of my aunts and uncles were older than me. For that matter, my parents were as well. When I was 12, my parents were in their 50's. Where am I going with this? I don't know. I guess age just never frightened me because I was always around older people. I felt comfortable around people older than me.
But somehow 60 seems old. I don't know why. I feel the same (barring some health complications lately). My husband says I still look young. I guess I should feel fortunate. My life has been a series of ups and downs, but I come from good genes. I always seem to bounce back after a serious illness. I have a wonderful, loving husband, three great pets and a house that we own. What could be better than that?
Happy Birthday to me...tomorrow.
**********************************************************************
December 31, 2021
Blessings
What a year. So much as happened in so little time.
I had three articles published in three different magazines. I received my first royalty for one of the articles.
I performed in a Musical this summer at the Hyde Park Opera House. We sold our house in Cambridge, Vermont bought a house in Derby Line, Vermont, moved twice (the first time was temporary as we needed to find housing after we closed on the house in Cambridge and then on the house in Derby Line), and had two procedures at the hospital.
Oh yes! Just a few weeks ago, I was blessed to be able to sing two Christmas Carols at the Christmas Coffee House at the Jeffersonville Church. What a great night. It was so wonderful to be able to gather again after a long year of Covid lockdowns.
Christmas Eve Mass was beautiful. The Decorations, the songs, the homily filled my heart with an amazement for God's gift of Love.
And of course, just last week, Mike and I spent Christmas at my sister's house in Sharon, Vermont. After a hair-raising trip (very slippery conditions that day), we were able to sit down to a delicious meal with my sister, brother-in-law and my nephew, Evan.
Goodbye 2021. Hello New Year.
******************************************************************************
January 5, 2022
An Early January Day
Snowflakes whoosh off trees and bushes. Ice glistens on the snow.
In front of us, there is nothing. A bareness. Quiet.
Christmas decorations and music have disappeared until next year.
A different kind of beauty surrounds me as I walk with my dog down the path.
The emptiness I felt when Christmas disappeared is now filled with the frozen,
white, solid snow
And the hope for an early spring.
*********************************************************************************************
January 25, 2022
Stillness
There is a stillness in the air.
A quiet.
No wind
No snow
No people or animals about
It’s morning and we bask in the glory of this eerie silence
But wonder what is to come?
************************************************************************************************
The
Encounter
By
Andrea Peden
(This is a short story that I hope to submit to a Christian Magazine someday).
Marianne’s
hands were tight around the steering wheel.
Her heart was pounding. Her
usually perfectly tanned face was pale.
She had haphazardly gathered her long blond hair into a ponytail and
strands were hanging out like someone had pulled and twisted it back and
forth. She felt sick to her stomach, but
she needed to do this.
She
had turned off the ringer to her phone after the first couple of times it
rang. The shrillness of the sound made
her heartbeat faster and her palms sweaty.
She was sure that the Tellers at the Bank were trying to reach her. They usually clocked in around 8:30 a.m. to
set up their bank drawers.
At
the next stop light, she turned onto the highway.
“This
is it, there is no turning back. Plane tickets purchased. One way.”
She
should be excited and she was, despite the churning stomach, beating heart and
clammy palms. She had to remain calm.
Breathe...1,2,3...slowly she let her breath out. Her heart slowed a little. Part of the excitement and nervousness was
that she had never done anything like this before. At thirty-five years old, she should have
been content with her life as a Branch Bank Manager at Newbury Bank in her
hometown of Northwood, New York, about an hour and a half from the Adirondack
mountains. Besides, up until now, she
had been the perfect daughter and the perfect employee. Well, almost.
After
her dad Ron, her best friend and confidant died of a heart attack twenty years
ago, life with her mom, Ellen, was impossible at best, abhorrent at worst. Her mom turned to alcohol to camouflage the
grief. Marianne took on the role of
caregiver. Other than the well-meaning
and sometimes helpful school counselor, Marianne, who was fifteen when her dad
died, had to shoulder the responsibility at home while trying to hide her
mother’s “illness” from friends and neighbors.
Needless to say, life was lonely. She no longer had her dad to talk with
or to look to for advice. She and her
dad were so close for so many years.
After
her mom started drinking, Marianne did everything she could to make her home
life better. She organized their home so
her mom would not get angry and lash out
at her when she got home from school. She made dinner, so her mom could “rest”
upstairs in her bedroom. She did her homework without asking for help. She was
a model daughter.
Finally,
after graduating with honors, Marianne, who had a flair for numbers got a job
at a local bank. She worked her way up
as a teller, Assistant Bank Manager, then Bank Manager.
She
met her future husband, soon to be ex-husband, Bill at a Bank Convention. He was handsome, smart, and a philanderer, as
Marianne would find out too late. But he
was her ticket out of her mom’s house. After one year, Bill left her for
another woman he met while on a business trip.
Marianne was left with virtually nothing as Bill took it all. Marianne
was devastated but promised herself she would never return home to live with
her mom. She would figure out a way to
survive.
While
Marianne worked hard to climb the professional ladder at work, Carol’s health
deteriorated. Marianne would visit
occasionally and attempted to help but
Carol would either be knocked out from a night of drinking or impossible to
reason with. Marianne made the decision
to place her mom in a nursing home, when she discovered, from her mom’s doctor,
that Carol was dying of liver failure. After a particularly brutal visit, in
which her mom screamed at her to leave the room, Marianne made the decision to
never be used or abused by another human being again.
By
this time, Marianne had been promoted to Bank Manager. The best part of her job was that she was in
charge of the vault. Marianne had always
fantasized about putting lots of money away and flying to an Island off the
coast of Florida. Of course, she would
never do that. That would be stealing.
She could be arrested for embezzlement.
Those nights when Marianne was up at night, thinking about her bleak
future and her failed past with her mom, dad, and her husband, she would brush
the tears away the tears from her eyes and toss this idea around in her
head. She researched embezzlement, bank
robberies, just for fun. She really
didn’t think she could pull it off, or did she? Didn’t she deserve it after
living like a slave for so many years and experiencing so much loss and
rejection? She knew that her mom would tell her this was a sin. But where was
God when Marianne needed him? She and
her mom and dad used to go to Church but that changed when Marianne’s mom
started drinking. Carol became a recluse and even when Fr. Murray came to visit, Carol
would yell at him and order him to leave.
Marianne thought about visiting Fr. Murray as he seemed concerned and
had invited them back to Church, but her mom warned her to stay away.
The
plan began shortly after Bill left. She
hardly had time to grieve. She didn’t
want to. “I’ve done enough of that.” She thought.
She had kept track of who took money from their safe deposit boxes. There were at least two people who did not
retrieve or deposit money on a regular basis.
These same people had deposited a lot
originally and there the money sat.
One-hundred thousand would get her started. She could get another job after she legally
changed her name and dyed her hair. She
would take a little money every week.
She was used to operating under the radar after years of covering for
her mom and grieving alone for her dad and her husband. This plan would come naturally to her.
Marianne
was transported back to the present by the sound of a bell coming from her
car. “Oh no!” Her eyes were drawn to the
check engine light on the dashboard. This really threw her plans into a
tailspin. “I can’t stop now!” She thought in a panicked state, I have to
get out of Town before they catch me.
Marianne
remembered what her dad said to her when she was younger, “If your check engine
light comes on, always pull into a gas station. Never keep going.” Marianne
chuckled despite her frustration.
“Coming back to haunt me dad?” Luckily,
she spotted a sign for a gas station at the next exit. Pulling into the driveway of Bob’s Motors,
Marianne felt like was transported back in time to a Town in the 1950’s. There were old-fashioned pumps lining the
front of an historic looking shop. She
parked her car and made her way past the soda pop machine with bottles sticking
out, ready to purchase, and other older cars.
Some of the cars looked like they dated back to 1940.
As
she flung the door open, she was greeted with a jingling bell and a howdy from
an older man behind the counter. “Hi.”
she returned the greeting while she looked around, taking in the familiar odors
of gasoline and rubber from the tires in a pile over by the counter.
The
man walked out from behind the desk, wearing a one piece grey jumpsuit. His
name tag was prominent, but he also took the time to introduce himself. “Hi, I’m Bob.
I own the place. What can I do
for you?”
Marianne
was struck first by his height. He must
have been over six feet tall. Lanky,
greyish, brownish curly hair and a rugged complexion. And his eyed. Not only
kind and warm, but blue, just like her dad.
“I
ah..wondered if you could take a look at my car. The check engine light just came on.” Marianne stumbled through her question.
“Well,
you came to the right place. I just
happen to have an opening. Someone just
cancelled.
“Oh
great. I am in a hurry and I need to get
back on the road.”
“I’ll
do the best I can. People are always in a hurry these days.” He half mumbled.
Marianne
handed him her keys as he returned to the counter to jot down the info about
her car.
“Ok,
I’ll just be a minute. You can have a
seat. Help yourself to coffee if you
like.” He gestured over to the ancient
blue dotted coffee pot sitting on the hot plate.”
“Thanks..
Marianne said softly.” “I’m sure it
tastes delightful.” she thought to herself.
She busied herself with checking out some of the pictures on the
wall. Pictures of Bob with his family,
Bob catching a fish while standing in a boat, trying not to fall. Pictures of the employees with a message
about awards they received.
“Best
auto shop in town. “I guess I did come
to the right place,” muttered Marianne.
The
clanging of the clock, signaling the half-hour made Marianne jump.
“Oh
my gosh. 8:30 already? Where was my
mind?” Marianne said in a soft voice.
She
quickly turned to the window as she saw two cop cars pull in. Her heart skipped a beat. She felt so vulnerable sitting in the
station. THe cops spoke with Bob who was
making his way back inside.
“Oh
please don’t bring them in here….” Marianne pleaded to whoever was listening…
There
was a tall, thin, officer with blond hair (she noticed as he took his hat off
to scratch his head) and a short, stout officer beside him. They were both laughing it up with Bob as they
began to walk into the shop. Suddenly,
the tall, blond haired officer received a call on his radio.
“Gotta go.
See you later.” Both officers
waved at Bob and jumped back into their cruzer.
Marianne breathed a sigh of relief.
“Oh
my God that was too close.” she whispered to herself.
“Ok
we are all set.” Marianne jumped as Bob
entered. She had her eyes on the police
who were speeding away and she was still shaken by what almost happened.
“Oh
I’m sorry. “ Bob noticed her pale complexion and large eyes ready to pop out of
her head. “I didn’t mean to scare you.
“That’s
ok.” Marianne mumbled. “How much do I owe you?”
“It’s
on the house. Just a short in one of the wires.”
“Really?” Marianne was so grateful. She hadn’t been the most friendly person
since she came in but this man didn’t seem to mind.
“Just
tell people where we are. Word of mouth
is worth more than money sometimes.”
Marianne
couldn’t imagine how but she was grateful anyway.
Bob
wiped his hands on the towel as he spoke.
“You
were smart to stop in though. Check
engine lights can mean anything.”
Marianne
smiled slowly and looked out the window.
“My
father would have said the same thing.”
There
was something about Bob that put Marianne in a comfortable place. He seemed familiar. He had a warm, non hurried way about him.
Whatever it was, it put Marianne at ease.
“So
where are you headed?” Bob inquired with a tip of his head.
Marianne
used the answer she had created just for this type of moment, “Family reunion
in Albany.
Bob
gazed out the window thoughtfully. “Family is important. They are blood. No one
should live without family.” He said softly.
Marianne
was drawn to the way Bob said the words.
It sounded like he had lost someone.
She felt moved to ask, “Do you have family around here?”
Bob
looked down quickly as he continued to wipe his hands with the towel. He shook his head. “No, I lost my wife to breast cancer a few
years ago. My wife and I didn’t have
children so I am all alone.”
Marianne
really felt a connection to this man. He
had been through rough times as well,
“I’m
so sorry.” Marianne truly felt bad for
him. He was so kind to her and yet, he
had been through so much.
Bob
seemed to snap back to the present as he started to smile. “No, don’t feel sorry for me. I am thankful for this place.” He motioned with a sweeping gesture of his
hand. “I’m so grateful for my customers, this place and God.”
Marianne’s
mouth curved into a smile as she looked down at the floor. She had not thought about God in a
while. Her mom always told her that
Marianne was not worthy of God and that she was forbidden to go to Church
because she would shame the family.
Marianne realized that it was her mom who was ashamed of herself.
Bob
interrupted her thoughts, “Life is precious.
Cherish the people in your life.” He said gently.
Marianne
was struck by the sincerity of this person.
No one, except her dad, had shown her an ounce of sincerity.
“Are
you sure I can’t pay you?” Marianne
asked.
Bob,
shook his head adamantly. “No. Just do me a couple of favors. Number one,
mention our little place to friends.
Two, give your family big hugs and three, give thanks to God.”
Marianne
felt a tear starting and her eyes began to well up. She hadn’t felt this way since her
childhood. Her emotions had been shut
off for years. “I will. Thank you.” she
said through a broken voice.
“Of
course.” Bob answered.
“Keys
are in the car. “
Marianne
kept thinking of Bob throughout her trip that day. The love and kindness in his voice. The advice… How can someone who lost so much
still be so thankful to God? Marianne
was confused.
She
looked at the clock in the car. “11:00
a.m.” she whispered. She realized she
had not thought of the police, the money or her impending plans for a
while. She was thinking about her mom,
all alone in the nursing home. Bob’s
words haunted her; family is everything.
Give your family a hug.” Yes, her mom was cruel to Marianne, but should
Marianne just abandon her?
Something
made Marianne stop the car. It was the
last thing Bob said to her. His voice rang loud and clear, like he was right in
her back seat. “Give thanks to God.” She heard.
She slammed on her breaks and whipped her head around, expecting to see
Bob there. Silence. There was no one in her back seat. The dust from the dirt on the side of the road
billowed up against the window.
Marianne
sat there for a minute. She had an urge
to jump out of the car and get on her knees. This didn’t make sense. She needed to get to the airport today before
the police caught up with her. But the urge was too strong. She jumped out of the car, fell to her knees
and started praying. She not only prayed
but she sobbed. All those years of
abuse, loneliness, disappointment came rushing back to her. God helped her remember how to pray because
she hadn’t prayed since she was a little girl.
She loved her time with God, when she was all alone in her bedroom or
when she and her dad would pray in secret so that her mom would not find
out. The love she felt at that moment
was even stronger than the love she felt from her dad. She cried out to God and
he told her what to do.
Marianne
sat on the side of the road for a long time, leaning up against her car. She knew what she had to do. After about an hour, she got back in her car
and headed back to town.
Epilogue:
Marianne
smiled as she looked across the kitchen island at Sam, her new husband and
Kiera, Sam’s daughter. Marianne adopted
her soon after she and Sam married. Sam’s rugged, handsome face, blue eyes and
brown, straight hair was holding out his hands to Kiera in the living room as
Kiera, two years old now, toddled over to him.
Shrieks of glee burst from Kiera’s throat as she stumbled but then fell
into Sam’s arms. He smothered her with kisses,
and she giggled uncontrollably.
Marianne
couldn’t help but giggle with her as she silently praised God for this moment
in time. She felt truly blessed to have
met Sam and his adorable daughter, two years after serving probation for
theft. Because she returned the money to
the bank and made amends to her boss, she was given a lighter sentence.
Ever
since the day when she fell on her knees to pray, she made prayer a regular
part of her life. She reconnected with
her Parish and started attending Church every Sunday as well as Support groups
and therapy, which was part of her probation.
It
was during this time that she met Sam.
She was serving coffee after Mass one day when Sam and Kiera came
up. Sam poured some milk for Kiera and
they split a donut. Sam and Marianne
made eye contact and started to chat. From
that moment on, they were inseparable.
Sam was divorced and had full custody of Kiera. Marianne appreciated his dedication to his
daughter and the gentleness he showed her.
Also,
during this time, Marianne found a way to forgive her mom. Prayer helped as did talking with Sam, and
her therapist. She and her mom had some
good times together at the Nursing home.
Marianne
tried to see Bob again but when she returned a year after her probation, there
was a new gas station there. Bob was
nowhere to be found. She always wondered
who this man really was, who led her to this wonderful life? She was told by the current owner that there
was a man named Bob who owned a gas station there back in the 40’s and 50’s but
he had passed away years ago.
Who
was this man who she met two years ago? Marianne smiled as she silently thanked
God for sending her an Angel.
*******************************************************************
February 17, 2021
Well, Valentine's Day has come and gone. Mike and I had a very busy weekend. We attended a Marriage Encounter "Date Night" at our Church. We sat at our own individual table decorated with flowers, candy and a bottle of bubbly apple cider. We ate our potluck dinner, which was amazingly delicious and wrote each other a love letter with prompts provided by the Marriage Encounter team.
We also went out to dinner on the actual Valentine's evening at the Eastside Restaurant in Newport. We were not disappointed. We sat in a cozy room, decorated with hearts, ate a scrumpteous meal (the couple's special with multiple courses that we could share) and listened to a piano player sharing very romantic songs from the 70's and earlier. I had all I could do to not run to the piano and sing along with him.
God gave us a wonderful couple of days as he does everyday. I especially love the days that provide memories for years to come.
*****************************************************************
February 19, 2022
Winter Wonder
I love the end of February.
Temperatures are rising.
Snow is falling in soft, pretty patterns.
Branches look like waffle cones.
Wind whips the snow on the ground in circular patterns
until the snow flies up into the air, ready to fall again.
My dog prances through the snow, taking in every precious moment
of the soft, fluffy white stuff that he feel is his for the taking.
No matter what life brings, we will always have this wonderful season of February.
Hail to the Glory Days
All hail to the glory days, when life was so real
When we were young and free and our happiness complete.
All hail to our beauty, so evident in those days
Our skin so soft and subtle our hair kissed by the sun
All hail to the glory days, eating anything and gaining little.
We stayed out late. We ate and drank till dawn.
All hail to the glory days, we had lots of friends.
Our arguments were short and we forgave easily.
All hail to the glory days. Gone by now.
Our memories retrieve the days now and then.
All hail to the Glory days.
Yes, they were sweet.
_____________________________________________________________________________
3/13/22
Silence
Fr. Tom who was giving the Homily at St. Mary, Star of the Sea (Mater Dei Parish) this morning, was talking about the constant noise in our life. He said, "We must be the loudest society when it comes to noise" or something to that effect. As an exercise, he asked us to be silent for one minute and he set his watch. He asked us to try to push away any thoughts or "noise" invading our minds. He suggested that if we have a difficult time pushing away the thoughts, just focus on one word, "Jesus."
During my one minute of silence, I gazed upon the crucifix. Jesus was on the cross and Mary and Martha were on either side. I kept repeating, "Jesus" over and over again. All worries, thoughts and even songs left my head (although I had the song, "It is Good" in my head, brought on by the wording in one of the readings). For the most part, Jesus was my sole focal point. He was in my thoughts and in my mind.
After the exercise was over, Fr. asked us if we felt different and I could honestly say I did. I started out the morning grouchy and tired and snappy. Our plow guy drove right by our house after plowing our neighbor's driveway. The young girl who lives in our neighborhood and does such a nice job shoveling agreed to shovel before we went to Church. She arrived, shoveled in back of the car and fell. I was afraid of a lawsuit of course but she texted to say she was fine. Our poor dog was attacked on Friday by another dog. He was minutes away from losing his eye if Mike hadn't rescued him. His injuries costs us over $100. Gas prices are skyrocketing as is everything else and no one seems to care. People are getting killed in unimaginable ways in Ukraine.
Well, I guess Sunday was a cumulation of the bad events of the week. I was brought to my knees due to anger and frustrations with the world events.
The small exercise suggested by this humble, quiet Priest brought me back to reality. Jesus is ultimately in charge. He will make things right. We just need to ask him. Let's look for him in the silence during Lent and throughout the year.
August 1, 2022
The Last Musical, Maybe?
The last scene is done. Never to be repeated.
The Show is over.
The cast party is bygone
Cards have been signed with loving wishes and thank you’s.
Goodbyes were extended.
Another memory has been created.
As I drop Donna off at her house, like I have done hundreds of times over the years, I realized this may be the last time.
Age has caught up with me and I live too far away now.
“I guess I’ll see ya when I see ya.” She says slowly as she crawls out of the car, tired from the long ordeal of the day.
I drive off into the night, grateful for the experience but happy to get my life back again.
**********************************************************************************
September 22, 2022
Stay Tuned:
Another busy couple of months. After taking a long, restful break from the Co-Producer duties, Mike and I and Shadow went on vacation to North Conway, New Hampshire. We had a great time shopping, visiting relatives, exploring the area and relaxing. However, because of COVID, many of the restaurants were either shut down or had a skeleton crew. Some were only open a few days a week. We managed to find food here and there. Next time, we will bring our own, just in case.
So, I am working on a book of Poems. My tentative title is, "Andrea's Book of Hope, Inspiration, and Love through Poetry. " I may change the title but for now, it works.
In a few weeks, I will meet with a graphic artist to work on putting the book together so that I can sell it on Amazon as an e-book and in regular book format. For now, I am still adding poems and asking friends to read and review. This is all very exciting. I hope lots of people will purchase my book! I'll keep you posted.
I am also working on a Christian-themed fiction book called, "The Benefactor." I'll tell you more as I firm up the plot.
Exciting things happening. More to come. Stay tuned!
Thank you for sharing your poems. Keep them coming! I can really identify with "No Sleep" and scattered thoughts before being overcome by sleep. Thank you for sharing your blog.
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